MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH & FERTILITY COUNSELLING
From Conception to Parenthood
The journey to parenthood can be joyful, but it can also bring challenges such as postnatal depression, fear of pregnancy or birth, and the grief of perinatal loss. Women may experience isolation, past traumas resurfacing, or difficulties in bonding with their baby. These experiences are complex and deeply personal, yet often underestimated. At Blue River Psychology, we provide compassionate support to help women navigate every stage of this journey with care and understanding.
Parenthood
Becoming a parent is a unique experience, whether you are raising your first child or already have a family. Men and women often navigate this transition differently, reflecting the meaning they attach to the roles of motherhood and fatherhood. What is widely recognised, however, is that parenthood can be a complex and challenging journey.
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Women in particular experience profound biological, emotional and social changes through pregnancy and birth. The physicality of carrying a child and the multidimensional adjustments that follow are often underestimated. Roles also shift - mothers frequently take longer periods of leave, while fathers may return to work sooner. For some mothers, this can mean facing the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a vulnerable newborn while their partner continues in the workplace and social community.
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With many families now living apart from extended relatives, women may find themselves without strong support systems and can feel isolated, anxious or depressed. Some mothers also experience attachment difficulties with their baby. The new role of motherhood can stir up unresolved past traumas or difficult feelings linked to their own parenting, which can have roots in transgenerational maternal trauma.
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The journey to parenthood can also be shaped by experiences such as:
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IVF treatment or reproductive struggles
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Donor conception or surrogacy
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Pregnancy or infant loss
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Antenatal depression
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Birth trauma
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A history of sexual trauma
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Parenthood is therefore diverse, layered and often emotionally complex.
Postnatal Depression
Terms such as antenatal depression (AND) and postnatal depression (PND) are common within the medical model, but many perinatal specialists argue that these difficult emotions are understandable given the demands of a life-changing role. Sleep deprivation, exhaustion, hormonal shifts, constant care for an infant and lack of social support all contribute to these struggles.
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Whether viewed as a medical condition or a normal human response, early support is vital. Without it, PND can deeply affect the woman, her partner, the infant, and the wider family, sometimes with intergenerational consequences. Studies show, for example, that daughters of postnatally depressed women are at greater risk of developing PND themselves. Accessing psychological help early can make a significant difference, not only improving a mother’s emotional state but also preventing longer-term difficulties.
Perinatal Loss
Perinatal loss encompasses miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, termination, neonatal death, sudden infant loss, fetal reduction, or the removal of a baby through care proceedings. These experiences often bring a complex mix of grief, trauma, anxiety, anger, shame, guilt and loneliness. Couples may face conflict, intimacy difficulties, or PTSD, while also struggling with questions that may never have answers.
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Navigating such profound loss can feel deeply isolating. Without support, grief may become prolonged or complicated. Access to safe psychological therapy is vital to process the pain, explore emotions, and begin to heal.
FERTILITY COUNSELLING
Struggling to Conceive?
Struggling to conceive naturally can have a profound impact physically, emotionally, relationally and socially. Treatment often requires significant time and investment, and the emotions can feel like a rollercoaster — from anger and anxiety to disappointment, shame and isolation. In a society that often defines women’s identity in line with motherhood and child-rearing, these pressures can feel overwhelming.
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A survey from Middlesex University revealed that 90% of participants reported feeling depressed and 42% experienced suicidal feelings, highlighting the seriousness of infertility and its emotional toll.
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For many couples, these difficulties also affect intimacy and connection, sometimes shaking the foundations of a relationship. Each partner may process the experience differently, leading to grief, anger, or a sense of injustice. This can also surface questions around identity — what it means to be a woman or a man — adding to the complexity and strain.
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Some may turn to alternative paths such as IVF, which brings further emotional highs and lows as well as financial considerations. In recent years, increasing emphasis has been placed on the importance of psychological support during infertility and IVF treatment. The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) advises individuals and couples to access therapy, and the British Infertility Counselling Association (BICA) is the only professional counselling association recognised by the British Fertility Society (BFS).
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Dr Rima Lamba has received foundation training in infertility counselling with BICA.
Whilst this journey can feel isolating, it does not need to be faced alone. Blue River Psychology provides a safe, compassionate space to explore these experiences and support you through them.